We're proud to present Death List 2000. The list is a specially selected group of 50 celebrities who the Death List Committee believe will die in this year. In accordance with our own rules there are 25 names in this years list that were not on last year's list. Our 1999 score of 10 ten deaths was our best ever performance - so we can only hope to do better this year.Now lets wait for the Y2K bug to bite!EMail us with your comments and suggestions for next years list at email@example.com
|2||Pope John Paul II||80||Pope|
|4||Ronald Reagan||89||(former) Idiot|
|6||Barbara Cartland||95||Literary Genius|
|8||Fay Wray||93||King Kong's squeeze|
|13||Vaclav Havel||64||Czech PM|
|16||Princess Alice||99||Queen Mum's sister-in-law|
|17||Lord James Callaghan||88||ex-PM|
|20||E W Swanton||89||Writer|
|21||Simon Wiesenthal||92||Nazi Hunter|
|22||Douglas Fairbanks Jnr||91||Actor|
|23||Max Schmeling||95||Hitler's Boxer (or maybe not)|
|28||Dame Ninette De Valois||98||Royal ballet founder|
|32||Clive Dunn||80||DeathList Favourite|
|35||Leni Riefenstahl||98||Hitler's Film Director|
|37||General Jaruzelski||77||ex Polish PM|
|39||Hardy Amies||91||Dress maker|
|41||John Lee Hooker||78||Blues Guy|
|47||Don Budge||82||Tennis Grand Slammer|
|49||John Paul Getty Jnr||68||Rich bloke|
|50||Artie Shaw||90||Big Band leader|
Despite a record early pace Death List 2000 faded away and could only equal the previous record of 10 deaths in one year. So its back to the drawing board for a new year and a new list of celebrities. Please check out Death List 2001.
Henry 'Bunny' Austin, British tennis star of the 1930s, has served up the Death List with its 10th success. The 2000 list has now equalled the previous record and has plenty of time to set a new target. Being a British tennis player meant Austin would always be struggling to achieve any significant sporting success, however dying on his 94th birthday is seen as perhaps his greatest achievement. We salute you Bunny!
Walter Matthau, another veteran actor, has died of a heart attack aged 79. After initial uncertainty as to whether he had been nominated for Death List 2000, a sigh of relief was breathed when it was confirmed that he made the number 42 spot. Matthau's death takes this years toll to an amazing nine with plenty of time for a massive new record to be set.
Veteran actor Sir John Geilgud has pounced hot on the heels of Cartland to make it a glorious Death List double. Geilgud had reached the dizzy heights of number five on this years list and decided he would finally deliver on years of promise. He was 96. The unprecedented success of Death List 2000 finds us with eight dead and not even close to half way through the year. Are you watching, Queen Mother??
Barbara Cartland, 98 year old romantic novelist, has written her last book. The number 6 candidate on this year's list has passed away just two weeks short of her 99th birthday. Unconfirmed reports suggest that she died some years ago but this was only discovered when surgeons removed her make up. This may explain the suspect quality of her last 700 or so novels. That makes seven deaths so far this year and plenty of quality selections on the still left teetering on the brink.
Douglas Fairbanks Jnr has become the sixth result for Death List 2000. Fairbanks, number 22 on this year's list, died aged 90 to maintain the record pace. Fairbanks is the first actor on the list to die this year and perhaps he will set a good example to the other old Hollywood types.
'Punk poet' as he has been described, Ian Dury, has died aged 57 after suffering from cancer for some time. Dury, the number 14 selection on this year's list, was hit by his own rhythm stick one too many times. Dury had generously been giving hints of his own demise for some time and we're sure that he would have been grateful that his final contribution was to chalk up the fifth success for Death List 2000.
Soccer great, Stanley Matthews, has finally won his Death List cap at the age of 85. The number 43 selection, famous for his performance in the 1953 FA Cup final for Blackpool, had a short illness before his death which is conveniently timed to coincide with the England vs. Argentina game this evening. With this blistering start, here at Death List HQ we're getting ready to tear up the record books.
Snoopy creator, Charles Schulz, has died aged 77 to make it a flying start for Death List 2000. Schulz, number 33 on this years list, had recently retired due to cancer of the colon and gave the Death List committee good indications of his intentions. With rumours of the Queen Mother's poor health rife things are looking very bright for more news soon.
Donald Budge, the first tennis player to win the grand slam, added another title to his collection earlier today by becoming this year's 2nd success on Death List 2000. The 84 year old had been ill since a car crash on 14 December and a cardiac arrest finally saw him off. Budge only just sneaked onto this years list at number 47 but and has claimed the record for the shortest time alive on the Death List - just 27 days having not appeared on any previous years' lists. Death List 2000 is really rolling now!
The new millennium kicks off with a bang! E W Swanton, cricket announcer, has been caught out at the ripe age of 92. Swanton was number 20 on the list and has done well to be the first to expire against 'stiff' competition (Ha Ha! Ed.). Who said there's no hope for English cricket! Maybe the current team may wish to consider following Swanton's example!
Its that time of year when we clear out the dead bodies and draw up the new Death List. This years list see the return of many favorites who really can't be hanging on much longer. We celebrate the Queen Mother's 100th year by moving her up to the Number One slot ahead of the Pope, the former favorite. Boris Yeltsin's New Year Eve resignation could well be promising news. Now let the battle commence!